“Jupiter Ascending” — Send it back to the universe

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

Image courtesy of impawards.com

“Jupiter Ascending” — is just fun eye candy. Check your IQ at the door. Smarts are not required for the shenanigans that comprise this two-hour exercise in sheer stupidity that probably read like a masterpiece on the page at some point.

Channing Tatum (“21 Jump Street,” “Magic Mike”) and Mila Kunis (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Black Swan”) headline this tale in which Earth is just one of many inhabited planets in the universe.

This one was originally supposed to hit theaters last summer. If it did, I think Freddie Redmayne would not even have been nominated for his Oscar in “The Theory of Everything.” The problem is, Redmayne chews up more scenery than he’s even offered! At one point he seems subtle, only to go on an all-out tirade claiming that even though he deserves what is actually due is nothing.

The visuals are cool enough, and they should be, considering that Wachowski siblings are the duo who brought American audiences “The Matrix Trilogy” at the start of this new millennia. I wanted and tried to enjoy this time waster, but I could not tolerate its sheer stupidity. The pair are also responsible for the misguided mess of “Speed Racer” (2008) a couple of years back.

When it comes down to it, Kunis is an actual princess of the universe, but with her lackluster job as a sanitation worker, she yearns for something more. She also has an asinine cousin who almost gets her killed after some phony doctors try to do an operation on her, but to no avail.

Also cool was seeing Sean Bean in a role where he actually lives to the movie’s end. Most of the time (“The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring,” “Patriot Games”), his character or identity is eliminated by the final reel of the movie.

His higher position of power as Stinger Apiril, but he turns out to be a charlatan, betraying lifelong friend Cain Wise (Tatum) because he wants to reap the rewards for his own benefit.

Also key to the story is a lot of sci-fi mumbo jumbo. Like last year’s awesome tale “Guardians of the Galaxy,” the dynamics of those involved one could care less about. Case in point: Aforementioned Redmayne’s Balem Abrasax acts like a spoiled child claiming that he has the right to our beloved planet Earth.

I hate to say it, but the visuals alone make it worth seeing. So it’s not necessarily an awful movie, just one that disappoints. Grade: C-

Ricky’s Take 5

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

“Still Alice” — Julianne Moore is a college professor struggling with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Grade:       B

“Seventh Son” — Jeff Bridges is Master Gregory, a knight-for-hire who has to battle Julianne Moore’s Mother Malkin, who turns into a ferocious fire-breathing dragon.   C

“Jupiter Ascending” — Channing Tatum (“21 Jump Street”) and Mila Kunis ( “Black Swan”) headline this tale in which Earth is just one of many inhabited planets in the universe.   Not necessarily an awful movie, but one that just disappoints. C-

“Kingsman: The Secret Service” — Fun, violent and engaging tale from “Kick-Ass” director Matthew Vaughn that centers on Taron Egerton’s streetwise kid who becomes a secret agent after some run ins with the law. Colin Firth, Mark Strong and Samuel L. Jackson, who speaks with a funky little lisp, all shine in this fun little ride. A-

“Fifty Shades of Grey” — This is an overblown melodrama that is almost on par with “Showgirls” for degree of awfulness. Dakota Johnson (TV’s “Ben and Kate”) is the naïve young girl who gets pulled into the world of masochist Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) C-

My top 3 picks for Black History Month

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

“Glory” (1989) — Denzel Washington won his first Oscar as Pvt. Trip, who joins the North’s all-volunteer black regiment, the 54^th, in the Civil War. The solid cast includes Matthew Broderick (“Ferris Beueller’s Day Off”), Cary Elwes (“The Princesss Bride”) and Oscar winner Morgan Freeman (“Million Dollar Baby”).       Grade: A

“Boyz N the Hood” (1991) — Director John Singleton was just 24 when he directed this slice-of-life tale about growing up in south central L.A. Laurence Fisburne was Oscar nominated for his role as patriarch Furious Styles. He was the caregiver to Cuba Gooding, Jr.’s Tre. A-

“American Gangster” (2007) — Director Ridley Scott helmed this tale about Denzel Washington’s family man gangster Frank Lucas and his rise to power in 1970s New York City. Also involved is Russell Crowe’s cop Richie Roberts, who has personal dilemmas of his own. A-

Oscar predictions, part 2

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

This is the second part of a two-part series.

The big guns in the best actor’s race are poised for a showdown befiting a couple of titans who are well liked in Tinseltown. In one corner there is the first actor in the modern era to tackle the role of Batman, Michael Keaton, in “Birdman.” In the opposing corner is Steve Carrell as millionaire Jon DuPont, a wealthy sports enthusiast who wants to see America back on top in wrestling in “Foxcatcher.”

Also nominated are Benedict Cumberbatch for “The Imitation Game,” Eddie Redmayne for his portrayal of Stephen Hawking in “The Theory of Everything” and Bradley Cooper as sniper Chris Kyle in “American Sniper.”

Early predictions were in the Carrell court. I’m sticking to my guns on this one, since he will probably take home the golden statuette.

Best Actress — This is another tight race. Carrell won in the crazy court so that almost disqualifies Rosamund Pike for “Gone Girl,” as a crazy person to the Nth degree. The Oscars always relish a disease and that’s why Julianne Moore will win as the English professor suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s in “Still Alice.”

Also nominated are Felicity Jones for “The Theory of Everything,” Marion Cotillard for “Two Days, One Night” and Reese Witherspoon in the Pacific Coast Highway trek “Wild.”

Director — Best director, without question, will be Richard Linklater for “Boyhood.” Just like the unanimous decision of Alfonso Cuaron for “Gravity,” this one seems geared for a winner in Linklater.

Also nominated this year are Wes Anderson for “The Grand Budapest Hotel,” Morten Tyldum for “The Imitation Game,” Bennett Miller for “Foxcatcher” and Alejendro González Iñárritu for “Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance).”

Best Picture — I hate to say it, but it looks like the year of “Boyhood,” even though “American Sniper” and “Birdman” both have received nothing but accolades. Lest America forget the other works of excellence that were nominated, other contenders are “Selma,” “Whiplash,” “The Grand Budapest Hotel,” “The Theory of Everything” and “The Imitation Game.”

The Oscars ceremony will be broadcast on ABC on Feb. 22.

Love is a many-splendored thing…and so is money in the bank: Classic romance

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

Image courtesy wordpress.com

“Roman Holiday” (1953)

This was the one that gave Audrey Hepburn her only Academy Award as best actress wherein she was princess of a foreign land. She falls for Gregory Peck’s Joe Bradley, a newsman who hides his true identity from her.  Grade B+

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy amazon.com

“The Graduate” (1967)

I would call this the first official stalker tale. A young spry Dustin Hoffman plays Benjamin Braddock, a recent college graduate who does not know what to do with his life. He feels isolated, but that changes when he gets “cougarized” by Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft), a woman who is married to his dad’s business partner. He meets the Robinson’s daughter, Elaine (Katherine Ross), and the pair share an almost-instant connection. A+

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy lessonsfrommovies.net

“When Harry Met Sally …”

(1989) — Great Rob Reiner flick that borrows heavily from the romantic notions of Woody Allen and features a pair of friends whose lives criss-cross over the years. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan play the couple in this fun movie.  A

 

 

 

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“Ghost” (1990)

Jerry Zucker helmed this romantic tale in which Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are a couple madly in love whose fate drastically changes when Swayze’s character meets an untimely demise. Whoopi Goldberg won a supporting actress Oscar for her role as ghost whisperer Oda Mae Brown. A-

Ricky’s Take 5

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

“Mommy” — Interesting tale about widowed mother(Anne Dorval as Diane “Die” Deprés) struggling to keep her sanity. Grade: C

“Cake” – Jennifer Aniston is compelling as a woman struggling with a painkiller addiction.  B

“A Most Violent Year” – Compelling drama with Oscar Isaac (“Inside Llewyn Davis”) and Jessica Chastain (“The Help”) that deals with bureaucracy, manipulation and disgruntled lost souls in 1970s New York. B

New on Blu-ray

“King of the Hill” and “The Underneath” – “King” is an amazing slice-of-life story set in depression era St. Louis and tells the story of one boy’s quest to outsmart the powers-that-be. Included is “The Underneath,” his 1995 Austin-set caper flick with Peter Gallagher.

“King” A+/“The Underneath” A-

One night only

“Logan’s Run” – This 1976 Michael Anderson-directed tale receives a revival release Feb. 22 at the Texas Theater. Michael York headlines in a future where one’s life expires at age 30.            C+

OSCAR: This year’s race: Predictions, Part 1

Staff illustration by Isai Diaz

This is one academy awards ceremony where people will either remember or just shrug their soldiers.

Supporting actress: Without question, the winner will be Patricia Arquette for “Boyhood.” Also nominated are Keira Knightley for “The Imitation Game,” Reese Witherspoon for “Wild,” Emma Stone for “Birdman,” and the usual Meryl Streep entry with her role as the witch in the musical of “Into the Woods.”

Supporting actor: This one without question has J.K. Simmons (in “Whiplash”) all over it. The spoiler, however, would be Ethan Hawke as the father in “Boyhood.” Also nominated are Robert Duvall in “The Judge,” Edward Norton in “Birdman” and Mark Ruffalo as the other Schultz brother in “Foxcatcher.”

Adapted screenplay: This race looks really tight as well. Paul Thomas Anderson for “Inherent Vice,” Graham Moore’s “The Imitation Game,” and Anthony McCane’s “The Theory of Everything” are all in the running. It will come down to a showdown between Damien Chazelle’s teacher-student showdown of “Whiplash” and Jason Hall’s “American Sniper.” I think “Sniper” will take the cake on this one.

Original screenplay: This race looks a little tight as well. Dan Gilroy’s nod for “Nightcrawler” is a plus for a movie that was barely even recognized. Also nominated is Wes Anderson for “The Grand Budapest
Hotel,” E. Max Frye and Dan Futterman for “Foxcatcher” and Alejandro G. Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris Jr. and Armando Bo for “Birdman” or (“The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance).” The surefire winner will be Richard Linklater’s “Boyhood.”

The Oscars ceremony will be broadcast on ABC on Feb. 22.

— Ricky Miller

“Project Almanac” – a misguided twister

Ricky Miller
Entertainment Editor

Sam Lerner, left, Jonny Weston, Allen Evagelista and Virginia Gardner in “Project Almanac.”

I hate to say it, but any movie produced by Michael Bay should at least have one explosion in it! For crying out loud, this is a man who directs robots (“The Transformers” franchise) into a two-hour-plus exercise in idiocracy.

The whole premise for “Project Almanac” was hijacked from the beginning.   Last year, it was titled “Welcome to Yesterday,” but I think the studio was not pleased with the test audience results. Flash forward to this year and the end results are still the same.

Ramblings in the basement is what sets the story into motion. The group of teens refer to the findings on paper as a “temporal relocation project”

Also annoying are the shaky cam shots that have been prevalent in supposed thrillers like “The Blair Witch Project,” “Cloverfield” as well as Paramount’s whole “Paranormal Activity” series. It not only contributes to the headache you will receive, but just adds to the frustration you will feel after watching these morons try to fix something that is not broken.

The no-name leads are interesting to watch. Jonny Weston is tolerable as teenager David Raskin. He brings a certain charm and everyman quality that translates to the screen.

The other elements involved (winning the lottery, beating up a bully) are touched on and delved out with the appropriate candor.

Also involved are near misses (the basketball team lost because a player sustained a broken leg) touched on without much result.

“Project Almanac” falls into the same category as the misguided and pretzel-twisting thriller, “The Butterfly Effect.” As much as one cares about all the people on screen, the end result is just a total and complete letdown. In the movie, the characters are referred to as a temporal relocation project, but it never fully investigates this aspect.

In the end, “Project Almanac” is not worth the time or patience needed to decipher all the clues for a story that gives you no satisfaction.                                                                                                                      

Grade: C-

The Robin Williams filmography All films graded on the A-F scale

By Ricky Miller

Entertainment Editor

“Popeye” (1980) Grade: C-

“The World According to Garp” (1982) A

“The Survivors” (1983) C-

“Moscow on the Hudson” (1984) C

“The Best of Times” (1986) C+

“Club Paradise” (1986) C-

“Good Morning, Vietnam” (1987) B+

“The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” (1988) B-

“Dead Poets Society” (1989) A

“Cadillac Man” (1990) C-

“Awakenings” (1990) A-

“Dead Again” (1991) A-

“The Fisher King” (1991) A

“Shakes the Clown” (1991) D+

“Hook” (1991) C

“Ferngully: the Last Rainforest” (1992) C-

“Toys” (1992) C-

“Aladdin” (1992) B+

“Mrs. Doubtfire” (1993) B+

“Being Human” (1994) C-

“Nine Months” (1995) C+

“To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar” (1995) C-

“Jumanji” (1995) C+

“The Birdcage” (1996) B-

“Jack” (1996) C-

“Fathers’ Day” (1996) C-

“Jack” (1996) C-

“Hamlet” (1996) A

“Flubber” (1997) D

“Deconstructing Harry” (1997) C-

“Good Will Hunting” (1997) A-

“What Dreams May Come” (1998) C

“Patch Adams” (1998) C

“Bicentennial Man” (1999) B-

“A.I. Artificial Intelligence” (2001) A-

“One Hour Photo” (2002)   C+

“Death to Smoochy” (2002) D+

“Insomnia” (2002) B

“The Final Cut” (2004) C+

“The House of D” (2004) D+

“Robots” (2005) C-

“The Big White” (2005) C

“Man of the Year” (2006) C-

“Night at the Museum” (2006) C+

“Happy Feet” (2006) C+

“The Night Listener” (2006) C-

“RV” (2006) C+

“Everyone’s Hero” (2006) C-

“August Rush” (2007) C-

“License to Wed” (2007) C+

“Old Dogs” (2009) C-

“Night at the Museum: Battle at the Smithsonian” (2009) C-

“Happy Feet Two” (2011)   C

“The Big Wedding” (2013) C-

“Lee Daniels’ The Butler” (2013) B-

 

 

 

Making the grade: The almost complete Samuel L. Jackson report card

By Ricky Miller

Entertainment Editor

 

“The Exterminator” (1980) F

“Ragtime” (1981) C+

“Coming to America” (1988) C+

“School Daze” (1988) C+

“Sea of Love” (1989) B+

“Do the Right Thing” (1989) B+

“GoodFellas” (1990) A+

“A Shock to the System” (1990) B+

“The Exorcist III: Legion” (1990) C+

“Betsy’s Wedding” (1990) B

“Mo’ Better Blues” (1990) B

“Strictly Business” (1991) D+

“Jungle Fever” (1991) B-

“Johnny Suede” (1991) C+

“Patriot Games” (1992) B+

“Juice” (1992) C

“Jumpin’ at the Boneyard” (1992) C+

“White Sands” (1992) C-

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1” (1993) C-

“Amos and Andrew” (1993) C-

“Menace II Society” (1993) B+

“Jurassic Park” (1993) B+

“True Romance” (1993) B

“Against the Wall” (1994) (made-for-cable) B

“Hail Caesar” (1994) D-

“A Time to Kill” (1996) A-

“Fresh” (1994) A

“Pulp Fiction” (1994) B

“The New Age” (1994) C+

“Kiss of Death” (1995) C+

“Losing Isaiah” ( 1995) C

“Die Hard With a Vengeance” (1995) B-

“The Long Kiss Goodnight” (1995) B+

“Hard Eight” (1996) A-

“Fluke” (1996) C+

“The Great White Hype” (1996) C-

“Trees Lounge” (1996) C+

“Eve’s Bayou” (1997) B-

“one eight seven” (1997)   B-

“Jackie Brown”  (1997) B+

“Sphere” (1998) C+

“The Negotiator” (1998) C+

“The Red Violin” (1998) B

“Out of Sight” (1998) A

“Deep Blue Sea” (1999) C+

“Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace” (1999) C+

“Unbreakable” (2000) A

“Shaft” (2000) B-

“Rules of Engagement” (2000) C+

“The Caveman’s Valentine” (2001) C+

“Formula 51” (2002) C-

“Changing Lanes” (2002) B-

“Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones” (2002) B-

“xXx” (2002) C+

“Basic” (2003) C+

“S.W.A.T.” (2003) C+

“Kill Bill Vol. 2” (2004) A-

“Twisted” (2004) C+

“In My Country” (2004) B-

“The Incredibles” (2004) A+

“Meeting Evil´ (2004) D+

“xXx: State of the Union” (2005) C

“The Man” (2005) C-

“Farce of the Penguins” (2006) C-

“Freedomland” (2006) D+

“Black Snake Moan” (2006) B-

“Snakes on a Plane” (2006) C-

“Home of the Brave” (2006) C+

“Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” (2005) B

“Resurrecting the Champ” (2007) C-

“1408” (2007) C-

“The Cleaner” (2007) B-

“The Spirit” (2008) C-

“Soul Men” (2008) C-

“Lakeview Terrace” (2008) D+

“Iron Man” (2008) A+

“Jumper” (2008) C+

“Astro Boy” (2009) B-

“Inglorious Basterds” (2009) B-

“Iron Man 2” (2010) B+

“The Other Guys” (2010) B-

“Captain America: the First Avenger” (2011) B-

“Thor” (2011) B-

“The Sunset Limited” (2011) C+

“Django Unchained” (2012) B-

“Meeting Evil” (2012)   D+

“The Avengers” (2012) A

“Turbo” (2013) C-

“Oldboy” (2013) B-

“Robocop” (2014) B-

“Captain America: The Winter Soldier” (2014)   B